Grammar School Merchant
We have been living in this house for the past twenty three years. And as our children grew up they pestered the neighbors to buy various items in the various seasons, for the various school projects. Then, after their graduation, it became our turn. We have bought fruit, candy, ribbon curlers, ornaments, gift bags, wrapping paper and other large assortments of mostly useless, but pricey stuff.
But in this present season we have wound up with the most unique items ever. Even if it had been what was ordered, this would have been a step and a half below useless! We should have known something was going to be wrong when this same little third grade merchant delivered our “Classic” Christmas stationery in boxes, no doubt, she had opened, and with pens oozing ink. No way to wrap opened stationery for someone’s Christmas gift. And the pens, – need I say more?
But she really out did herself with this last delivery. I guess if she ever knew the alphabet she has no idea how to apply its use! There they are, three little Christmas Mama Bears. Each one has her long red skirt with a plaid jacket. And each one has wings, no less, extending from behind. And each one holds up a white star in both paws with just one letter written thereon. (And here is the witness to the merchant child gone bad.)
For when you place the little figures side by side, their star letters read “J – O – J”! That’s right, “J- O – J” to the world! Or, may this season bring you and yours, hearts of “J – O – J”! How frustrating!
After the ordeal of choosing from her dog-eared catalog; writing out two different checks, and she had no idea to whom it should be made out; waiting all those weeks; and then finally receiving opened stationery, with leaky pens – what do I get? Three illiterate bears with “J – O – J” to the world!
The only thing that helps me through this is the thought that somewhere in this very neighborhood, maybe even on this same street, someone has three Christmas bears bearing signs that read “Y – O – Y” to the world!
Gene Breed
December 11, 2001.
